This post is very humbling to write but I have been known to be honest to a fault and this will be no exception. I don’t want to pretend that I always do the right thing and have it all together when I still have many areas of my life that need work. It’s obvious to all that I am no more perfect than the next person. It would be ludicrous to try to act like I am and even more exhausting to live a lie. The truth is evident. So I’ll embrace it.
I have recently had my patience and humility tested. I won’t go into details but I know that it is no coincidence that these things all came one right after another as if God was trying to tell me to take notice. Well, I did take notice and in hindsight of each situation, I have realized that I could have reacted differently and had different outcomes to various happenings in my life. Even when another person is wrong or angry, I don’t have to respond in kind. I know that if I had kept my joy in the face of oncoming negativity and anger, I would not be feeling unhappy with my response. These tests are never easy but when you are able to get through them holding onto inner peace then you have achieved great strength.
I tend to reflect a lot, okay….. maybe even obsess about these things when they happen but it’s ultimately how I am able to understand where things began to deteriorate and start to make the changes needed to grow. For me, writing about it puts me on the line for following through with making improvements. It helps me to do the work necessary to become better at responding in a more healthy and productive way.
Let’s face it, people are not always going to act the way you that you would like them to. Not everybody is kind and considerate of others. In fact, some are even downright mean spirited. Businesses might not conduct themselves in an honorable manner. People will sometimes disappoint us. What I have realized is that my disagreement or disappointment with them most likely isn’t going to change anything. It’s perfectly ok to speak up for what is right, but there is a productive and noble way to achieve this. In fact, it is ultimately necessary to communicate with others about these things even though it may be uncomfortable. Attempts at self appointed martyrdom never accomplish anything.
So I must ask myself, why did I allow it to bring me down? I have the power to remain above the situation. And if I do, I am in a much better position to perhaps be the teacher for the person in front of me. Through our own genuine peace and tranquility, and not feigned through gritted teeth and snarky grins, we can be a testimony to others. Be aware that what you are feeling is most likely shown on your face. Demonstrating and living these truths is more powerful than any verbal response we can possibly make.