Love is enough!
Love is enough!
I’ve been having an ongoing conversation with my boyfriend for years. It concerns what makes a lie, a lie!
I say anything that isn’t true is a lie. If you only admit a partial truth in order to conceal something, that’s a lie too. Especially if it’s to hide your own transgressions, no matter how trivial. I say that some lies are most definitely meant to protect the listener but they are still a lie.
He says if a lie is told to protect from hurting someones feelings then it’s not really a lie. I say we all lie everyday. He says he never lies.
It seems like tears and laughter lie simultaneously just underneath the surface of me. In fact, all of my emotions are easily tapped into in the blink of an eye. I have always been this way. Since I can remember, tears seem to readily spring to my eyes and humble me at the mere hint of an emotional moment. Whether it’s tears of joy or sadness, they are always willing to show what’s going on in my heart whether I want it known to the public or not. I have also had times that laughter came blasting out when it would have been so much better to hold it in. Yikes! So embarrassing! Sometimes, these strong emotional responses seem like a betrayal.
I often wonder how other people are able to have such great control over their emotions? I’ve always thought these people must be so strong. But the fact is, while it’s not always a choice, it takes great strength and humility to show the world what you are feeling on the inside.
I was talking with some friends recently when I came to realize that our emotions have a way of revealing themselves even when one has become an expert at keeping them at bay. These 2 ladies that I was talking with always seem to have things under control with their emotions tightly guarded. It’s not that they are cold-hearted, they just keep it together much better than I do. You will probably never ever see them cry in public. However, both had stories to tell that made me realize that emotions WILL come out one way or another.
One of these ladies was talking about her first time networking and she had not known that she would be expected to stand up and tell the room her name and a little bit about her business. As she sat waiting her turn, trying to keep the nerves from getting to her, she began to think of what she was going to say in her allotted 30 seconds. She ended up breaking out with hives all over her neck and chest before her turn came around. She seemed calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside she was a bundle of nerves and those nerves found a way to be acknowledged!
The other lady told about a time that she was to be giving a presentation in front of a room full of quite notable people. Unbeknownst to her, she began tap, tap, tapping her foot throughout the entire presentation. Again, those nerves and emotions found a release! My new nickname for her is Thumper.
Your heart is always telling you things. Quite often we try to ignore the message because it’s not convenient but sometimes your heart makes you listen. Don’t think that you have to be stoic or perfect. You don’t have to appear strong all the time. It’s ok to let your guard down. We must acknowledge our emotional responses and deal with them. When we show others our vulnerabilities it allows them to be more at ease about embracing their own weaknesses.
Both of these women can laugh at their experiences today but there is a lesson here. While I still get embarrassed that I cry so easily, I ultimately think it’s important to acknowledge what you feel and deal with what is going on inside. Avoiding your feelings is only a short-term solution. Your emotions will eventually be manifested into physical responses that are certain to be much more unpleasant than the alternative of shedding a few tears in public.
I know my emotions have a mind of their own. Over the years, I have come to accept that this is how God created me. I think I was given an extra “empathy gene” because I can see a total stranger across a room that is crying and it will make me cry too. I’m told that tears are cleansing. I must be pretty cleansed in that regard.
You can forget about taking me to see a sad movie! I can’t tell you how many movies I’ve waited till everyone has left the theater to sneak out with my puffy eyes and red nose. It’s so humiliating. Thank goodness those tear-jerkers are now available to view in the privacy of my home. I actually don’t watch many movies like this because they exhaust me emotionally and real life can offer more than enough opportunities to cleanse. But, if you’re ever in need of someone to cry or laugh with you, give me a call. I’m your girl!
At the end of this month I will be attending my millionth dance recital! Ok, maybe that is a slight exaggeration but let’s say I’ve attended a bunch. My daughter danced for 14 years and now my god-daughter is in her 11th year of dance. She will most likely continue on for another 4 years so I still have a few years ahead of me before this comes to an end.
I love watching all the dancers and seeing how they have grown in talent and size from year to year. The 3 year olds class still gets the biggest applause because they are just so stinking cute. Most of them are so excited to finally get to be on stage and perform. They can be a little unpredictable but those big waves from the stage are adorable.
As my daughter grew up dancing, many of the girls stayed in the same classes together through the years and friendships were made between the girls and also between the moms. There were also many dance moms to contend with over the years. I’m talking about the moms who got VERY involved in their child’s dance curriculum. One mom was even named “dance mom”. She was the person that every one else basically ran from. She was quite opinionated and just plain loud! She had no limits when it came to telling everybody what to do. She even tried telling the owners of the studio how to run their business on occasion.
One year, when my daughter was 14, I had the very unfortunate experience of having to confront this woman who stood at least 6 feet tall. It was time for the recital and all the students were at rehearsal. There was some confusion about which shoulder the one-shouldered costume was supposed to go across. Of course she was certain that her daughter had the costume on the right way and all the others were wrong. Her argument stemmed from which side the tag on the inside of the garment was on. In order to prove her point, she grabbed my daughter by the arm and proceeded to snake her hand up my daughters shirt feeling around for the tag. You can imagine how horrified my daughter was. This strange woman putting her hand up inside her clothes!
You have to draw the line somewhere and I figured it was past time for me to stop this mad woman! So…… I bravely approached her and let her know that under no circumstance was it acceptable to touch my daughter in any way. It was highly inappropriate for her to put her hand underneath the clothing of a child that was not her own and I told her if she ever did it again that I would file charges against her. A friend took a photo of me talking to this woman and you can see me holding my cell phone as we spoke. She is towering over me as I had the misfortune of choosing to wear flats that day. If you zoom in on my fingers on the phone, you can see my white knuckles. Yes, I was a little scared of this loud-mouthed bully of a woman but it was the mother hen in me coming out to protect my daughter. It’s hilarious to me now but at the time I was really nervous about confronting her. But it’s even funnier that she backed down immediately and apologized. I guess not many people have ever stood up to her.
I continue to see this woman at the recitals because she still has several children of varying ages that attend classes at this studio. It seems every year there is some kind of drama surrounding her that makes me laugh. I don’t even know if our throw down had any impact on her or if she even remembers me at all but I can tell you that I am remembered as the woman that had a throw down with “dance mom”! You can bet that I steer as clear of her as possible. I have no desire to white knuckle it again. But she better stay away from my god-daughter ’cause I will step in again if I have to. Perhaps I should wear high-heels just in case?