Eeeek! I have polka dotted legs!

Polka Dot legs



I have a confession to make; if you see my legs, the tan is fake! Yep, I use self-tanner/ leg makeup on my legs if I’m going to show them. If you have seen the cover photo on my new book, Networking: Naked & Unafraid, you know I’m showing a lot of leg. I’ve had all kinds of compliments on how my legs look in that photo. But I do have to admit that I used a miracle product called Air Brush Legs before I took that picture. It’s truly miraculous how that stuff works and I’m so VERY thankful to my friend who told me about that product. Who knew it was that easy?


You see, I’m really pale and I’m not excited about doing any further damage to my skin by sunbathing and getting a REAL tan. So, I try to take the edge off of my paleness by using a little self-tanner. I feel like it’s a public service. Trust me on this!


The problem is with all this rain we’ve been having this Spring! When I want to wear a dress, I apply a little self-tanner on my legs before I head out so I won’t blind people with my whiteness. If you’ve ever used this stuff you know that it takes hours for this stuff to create the perfect tan. It has to stay dry and “cure” for a while. But if you step out into the rain, you get wet and that counteracts whatever miracle product is in there that makes you look tan. But it doesn’t get wet all over, just in spots. Hence, polka dotted legs! It’s not a great look.


When I complained about this recently, I was told that this was a “white girl problem”. I had to laugh at this because I never really considered that before. So if you are fortunate enough to have a naturally tan complexion, be thankful that you don’t have to deal with polka dotted legs.


Here’s a pic from the photo shoot for my book cover.

Check out that flawless fake tan!

Book cover SI small


Grandma chalkboard

Yes, this news is really, really big! I mean it’s life changing. I am about to turn into one of those complete fools who can’t stop going on and on about how beautiful my grand-baby is. I am going to be a grandmother. So please bear with me as I post millions of baby pics on Facebook, Instagram and everywhere else imaginable. I have no doubt that at least in my eyes, it will be the most beautiful baby ever born.


I’ve told a few people about this grand event and I keep getting a similar question; what will the baby call me? I didn’t know that I get to decide this! When my first child was born he could say nana really well so we went with Nanny for the name of my mom, (his grandmother). It really had more to do with the fact that he liked bananas a lot and we took that name and ran with it. Now that I think about it, he probably wondered why he was supposed to call her that since she was clearly NOT a banana.


So I want to know, if you are a grandparent, what does your grandchild call you? I’m open to suggestions!

Don’t be hatin’ on our JJ!

Vikings Texans Football

Who doesn’t admire JJ Watt? I mean really, the guy is amazing. Perhaps the Texans need to go ahead and make him quarterback too. He does everything else already and everybody knows the Texans are in desperate need of a quarterback that can play to the level of the rest of the team. Maybe I’ll start a petition to see if we can make this happen.


Take a look at some of JJ’s stats for the 2014 season:


78 combined tackles

20.5 sacks

4 forced fumbles

5 fumbles recovered

80 yard interception return

5 touchdowns


He will be named MVP for the 2014 season if the voters have any brains at all!


Who can argue that he’s not a football god? His dedication to excellence has paid off in what he accomplishes on the field. And let’s face it; he’s not too tough on the eyes either. He exemplifies a real HE man of power and strength but to add to that we also see the soft, gentle, and giving side of him in the charitable, humanitarian things he does off the field. We can also see that he has tremendous respect for his mom and to top it all off, he likes to dance! What’s a girl not to like here? It’s not a surprise that practically every woman breathing has a bit of a crush on him (biggest understatement of the year). Even my mom gets a little giddy over him and I won’t tell you exactly how old she is but I’m 54 so you can do some estimating on your own.


The problem is that our men tend to hate on JJ a little bit whenever they get a chance. If he happens to actually touch the kicker or take down a quarterback just a little more aggressively than he should they are all over it. Lemme help you out here gentlemen, we don’t want to hear it! He’s a football player. He gets caught up in the game just like all of the other players. Not for one second do we believe that he’s playing dirty.

He even looks pretty good in a cowboy hat!

JJ Watt cowboy hat

Yes, there may be a double standard when it comes to how we can drool over him but that’s just the way it is. It’s not like we want to marry him or anything, at least not the women in my age range. He could always marry our daughter, right? So don’t be hatin’ on our JJ and we’ll get along just fine.

BAM! Just Like That!



How many of you have ever bought into the crazy marketing promises we are bombarded with on a daily basis? Marketing gurus play on our weaknesses and the things we are self conscious about. They know just how to get us to pull out our wallet and hand over our money even if we are doubtful that said product would actually give us the results we see on the ads. For some reason, we just keep on hoping and believing.


I’m pretty immune to those ploys at this point in my life because in the past, I’ve given in to the lure of better skin, hair, eyelashes, silhouette, etc. many times before and have been repeatedly disappointed. In the past, I’ve spent lots of money on stuff that just didn’t do what it claimed it would do.


Occasionally, and this is VERY rare, you find there is a product that you’re actually happy with the results. This is how Top Ten got started. Whenever I find something worthy of sharing, I want to tell everybody I know. I want to shout, “HEY, THIS STUFF WORKS!”


Wanna Betta Butt?Recently, I was shopping and found some jeans that had an interesting marketing slogan. It grabbed that part of me that has struggled with having no butt all of my life. My step dad used to call me snake hips. You know snakes have no hips, right?


I’ve done billions of lunges, squats and all other means of exercise that promises to grow muscle in the gluteus maximus. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration because if I’d actually done that many I’d have a bigger butt. These jeans said right there on the label, “Wanna Betta Butt”. Ummmm, yes I do. Thank you very much.  So I whipped out my money and paid for them. BAM! Just like that, instant gluteus maximus.


Ok, I know my butt doesn’t actually look like the one in the ad but it IS an improvement, I think… I did a video that has the before and after and I’m pretty sure there was a difference. It’s really amazing what lycra in the right places can do! Ronny says I should get my money back though. Anyway I’m happy with the results and think I spent my money wisely. In these jeans, I DO have a betta butt.


When they come off, it’s a different story. So I guess I’ll keep on working out in hopes of growing the ole glutes into a bubble butt. In the mean time, I’ll be sporting my new jeans.






The Proper Way to Kill a Bug


Whenever I’m confronted by a bug or an insect, (I know there is technically a difference but in my mind they are pretty much the same), my first instinct is to run. However, as I’ve grown up, I’ve learned that they don’t go away by themselves. Someone has to do a removal! If there is no one around of the male species age 12 and up, guess what that means? Yes, YOU are the one that has to deal with it. YOU are going to have to put on your big girl exterminator hat and do the job. Tap into your deepest primal instinct and kill or be killed.


One time while I was driving, out of my peripheral vision, I saw a spider drop down from the ceiling of my car. My guardian angel must have watched over me because I lived to tell the tale. Of course I panicked because this thing was about 2 inches from my face! I managed to find a place to pull over and look for the spider but it had somehow disappeared in the time it took me to park. I looked everywhere! Under the seats, the floor mats, in the console, back seat …… I mean I combed the entire inside of that car and the darn thing was nowhere to be seen! What to do? I REALLY didn’t want to get back in a closed vehicle knowing that spider had to be in there somewhere. But life continues with or without a spider carcass and I had to get home. I finally resigned myself to getting back in the car.


I NEVER found that spider in my car but I promise I continued to look for it every time I got in. I was haunted by that critter until I sold the car.


Over the years, I have developed a great method for exterminating spiders or any other creepy crawly thing. First, you don’t take your eyes off it. They get away fast! Then, with your eyes continually focused on the target, you must find a shoe, magazine, paper-towel, or some other effective device that is within reach to smash said creepy crawly thing. Once you have selected your preferred killing machine, you must move in. This is where it gets tricky. As you begin to close in on your target, it’s necessary to let out a blood-curdling scream each time you swat or smash your victim. Trust me, this helps! With every blow, you must scream and then quickly jump back if you miss. If you do miss, then you have to turn up the intensity and run after your prey because, no doubt, you have made it very mad and it’s either trying to escape or preparing to attack. Stay strong because you must keep moving in until you successfully take out this extremely dangerous 6 or 8-legged thing.


We all know that complete removal is necessary because being in the same dwelling as this creature is NOT an option! Good luck and God speed!