Many of you know that I divorced a few years ago but you may not know that I have made the adjustment from being a country girl to being a city girl. You see, I previously lived on some acreage out in the country. It was a quiet place where you could hear the sounds of nature at night. I would hear the coyotes running or the owls screeching. Nature and its simplicity was all around.
My place was somewhat secluded. There was no one who would even hear me if I screamed my loudest. I know this because of the time that I was attacked on my front porch by yellow jackets. It was a nice spring morning and I was on a roll cleaning everything in sight and decided to sweep off the porch. What I wasn’t aware of was that I had disturbed a yellow jackets’ nest underneath a rocking chair. They came out with a vengeance and started flying all around me. A couple of them flew up my shorts and started doing what they do best, stinging me. Of course I started screaming and clothes started flying. It all ended with me bottomless with a few stings on my legs. My screams alerted no one. That’s the beauty of seclusion I guess. You can get attacked by wasps on your porch, throw off your clothes, and no one’s the wiser. In the city, this would have been a much more embarrassing situation!
But then I sold my little place and moved into the city. I have experienced some interesting things in my little apartment. I’ve already told you about the neighbor on the phone in the hallway arguing with his ex wife. I can tell you that I’m so thankful that I have the ability to adjust easily. If not, I’m not sure how I would be able to deal with the guy who lives below me who is a constant test to my patience.
First of all, let me say that I moved into the non-smoking building in my apartment complex. He lives below me and is a smoker. I think he tries to NOT smoke in his apartment so instead, he sits outside in his garage, which neighbors mine, and puffs away. I get to walk through the cloud of smoke when I go beyond the garage. I have no idea why he would move into this building being a smoker. Perhaps he started after he moved in? He also likes to think he is an accomplished musician and believe me, I’ve heard him sing and it’s painful, especially early on a Saturday morning. Then there was the time that I was tempted to call in hazmat. After contemplating, I decided to call the apartment manager first about the strong smell of chlorine that was infiltrating my apartment burning my eyes and throat. Apparently, he had poured “a lot” (like a gallon) of bleach into a load of laundry. I’ll just say that I can’t imagine how strong the smell was in his apartment. I’m still wondering if there is was crime scene down there that he was trying to cover up.
But tonight I came home to the most noxious smell ever, cabbage! What single man actually cooks cabbage? Seriously? Single men barbecue! They cook steak and burgers. They don’t steam veggies like cabbage. Oh, what a lingering smell it was.
So what do you do in a case like this? Just in case he’s collecting bodies down there, I just try to remain cordial, smile and wave every time I see him. Who knows what’s going on! Now I’m wondering if he was using cabbage to try and cover the smell of that crime scene that must be getting really ripe about now.