It looks like I may sell this house. While I’m very excited about being able to literally move on after my divorce 1 ½ years ago, this house holds so many memories. Good and bad ones. I like to focus on the good ones. My daughter brought a song to my attention last year that says so much. It’s by Miranda Lambert titled “The House That Built Me”. This song produces such strong emotions that it can make me cry within about 3 seconds (I am a bit of a crybaby). I’ve been here for over 10 years watching both kids grow up and graduate, had a marriage that wasn’t great but did have a few good times mixed in with the bad, gone through a divorce (yes, that is a happy memory at this point) had numerous pets that came and went and are now buried here, trees that were planted in memory of loved ones, witnessed the passing of my much loved step-father, enjoyed countless birthdays and Mothers Days, had lazy days by the pool, my first ride on a tractor, watched my son pole vault to amazing heights, watched my daughter ride her pony…….. All of these memories I will pack and take with me. What I can’t take with me are a couple of things attached to this house, my back porch and my huge claw foot bathtub.
I love my screened-in back porch. There are all kinds of memories there. During the last 1 ½ years a tradition called “wine on the porch” was created. It played a big part in getting me through my divorce. Many evenings were spent out there with friends just hanging out. It was a time where I was able to put aside all the stress of the day and sit out there simply laughing and loving life. Other times saw me frustrated and feeling like life was unfair. And at times it was grossly unfair. Ultimately, after an evening on the porch, I always felt like I could keep going no matter what came at me next. Through it all I have learned that you must move on. You have to let things go because being angry and bitter just eats you up inside. I discovered how to give my worries to God on this porch. Truly letting go is liberating. It’s a freedom that is unparalleled. My friends and family say they witnessed me finding true happiness through this process. Something I had been missing for so many years. So I will miss this porch but the tradition of “wine on the porch” will definitely continue wherever I end up settling.
My bathtub is fantastic! It’s an enormous claw-foot tub that I swear I can just about swim laps in. There is nothing like sinking down in a tub of hot water at the end of the day and enjoying the peace and solitude it brings. People that know me, give me a hard time about always being in that tub any time they call. Maybe I do spend an inordinate amount of time there but I’ve known for a while that I will have to give it up one day and I want to get as much time in as I possibly can. I seriously doubt that I’ll ever have a tub like that again. Perhaps it’s a blessing to have to move on though. I’ve thought about how awful it would be to have that amazing tub staring at me, mocking me, and being too old to be capable of getting in and out of it without breaking something. That would be torture. So I guess it’s best that I will be removed from the temptation when I’m older because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to break the tub “habit” without serious intervention.
I hope the new owners love this house as much as I have. I don’t know anything about them, if they have kids or pets or what they plan on doing with 10 acres. But I do know that they will start making their own memories and creating traditions in this house right away. And wherever I settle, new memories and traditions await me.